🛒 SHOPPING GUIDE
(a.k.a. the chaotic bible of buying from us)
💳 PAYMENT? → Quack our secure vault
We accept major credit cards, Apple Pay, Google Pay, and weird vibes.
No shady redirect links. No surprise charges. Just smooth checkout, baby.
🔒 Your payment info is encrypted. Even Ducktor Q. Quack can’t peek at it (he tried, the vault bit him).
🚚 SHIPPING? → Fast. Quiet. No quack tracking.
We ship within the U.S. only (wink wink, don’t ask).
Small chaos (vibes, lube, panties)? 7–10 business days.
❗ Big chaos (dolls, thrones, oversize gear)? 14–21 days (they’re made-to-order — craftsmanship takes time, duh).
Tracking numbers go live 2–5 days after your order.
Use them. Stalk them. Refresh them until your fingers bleed (or don’t).
Pro tip: Packages wear “Duck Supplies” costumes. No one’s gonna ask why you’re getting duck stuff.
↩️ RETURNS? → We don’t ghost, promise
Changed your mind? We get it — moods change.
You can return unused items within 7 days of delivery.
Here’s the kicker:
| 🧍 Who messed up? | 🚚 Who pays for return shipping? |
| You (wrong choice, cold feet) | You do. Sorry, bud. |
| Us (damaged, wrong stuff) | We cover it. Ducks honor. |
To start a return:
📩 Email us → support@worryfreemall.com
📦 Keep the original packaging (we’re suckers for cardboard)
Return packages? We’ll label ‘Duck Supplies’ — no one’s business but ours.
❌ We don’t accept returns on opened adult toys. Hygiene > chaos.
🛃 CUSTOMS, DELAYS, APOCALYPSES
Yes, customs might take a nap on your box. Yes, couriers might yeet your vibe across states.
We can’t control that — but we’ll help you chase it down.
If your order’s been stuck for more than 30 days, shoot us a message. We’ll get angry on your behalf.
Also: Always pick registered airmail, unless you like guessing games.
😵💫 FAQ → Read this before you panic
Q: Why is shipping so slow?
A: Big items are made-to-order. We don’t stock 1000 vibrating thrones in a closet. Give us time.
Q: Where do you ship from?
A: Our ducks fly coast to coast. Some stuff may come from alternate dimensions (just kidding... maybe).
Q: Is this dropshipping?
A: Hell no. We stock our own chaos. Real inventory. Real sweat. Zero Aliexpress bullsh*t.
Q: My package says “delivered” but it’s not here?!
A: Check your porch, neighbors, mailbox, or that one guy down the hall who always looks guilty. Still no luck? Contact support.
🔥 TL;DR
You buy → We ship → Chaos ensues → We help if needed
We’re not perfect, but we’re real. And we don’t ghost.
🦆 Love,
Ducktor Q. Quack
Your glitchy chaos overlord